Photo credit: Alexi Lubomirski

 

Dear Prince Harry,

We all know you got married to a hot girl. Good for you. So why did you have to ruin it for the rest of the guys?

You kept whispering sweet nothings to her during the ceremony, and staring at her adoringly. Talk about setting a high bar for the other grooms.

But gathering flowers for her bouquet? Thanks a lot.

Now, on the day before the wedding, grooms will have to pick up their rental formal wear and go wander around a garden, cutting flowers for their brides’ bouquets.

And not just any flowers – brides will be demanding meaningful flowers, and the hapless grooms will also have to be sure the flowers go with the wedding color scheme. As if they know what the color scheme is.

To be really special, the flowers should come from the couple’s home garden. You can see where this is going. What if the couple doesn’t have a garden (tended by royal gardeners)? There could be a crisis in city parks, with furtive young men sneaking around with scissors, snipping off all the best blooms.

Plus you got to drive a vintage Jaguar to your wedding reception.

Oh yeah, thanks a whole lot.

Signed,

Unmarried straight men everywhere

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The heir to the Kaiser of Germany, a Mr. Georg Prince of Prussia, got married today to Miss Sophie Princess of Isenburg.

Georg and Sophie ride in a landau to their wedding reception at Sanssouci Palace.

Never heard of them? Join the club. Which shows that you really can set aside your ruling families and things will smooth out in a few generations. Just leave them with some money and estates and they’ll go quietly.

No longer royals, now aristocrats, the deposed German families still take their lineage seriously. The groom would have been ousted as head of the Hohenzollern family if he had married a commoner.

Is it because Germany was on the other side in both World Wars that our hearts don’t leap at the sound of Kaiser Wilhem II’s name, and we don’t get goosebumps at the thought of his great-great-grandson marrying a German princess?

Or is it the Kaiser Wilhelm II helmet problem?

Oh wow. I didn’t even know about that helmet. I meant this one.

Maybe that’s the reason it was easy to get excited about the Monaco royal wedding — Monaco is non-threatening, unless you’re in a competition for conspicuous consumption. So go right ahead, Monaco, and drape your Princess Charlene in lashings of diamonds and ever more elegant evening gowns; it’s all harmless fun for the rest of us.

TSH Prince Albert and Princess Charlene of Monaco. Photo: The Jewellery Editor

The German bridal couple offer less on glam and more on gravitas. They work as financial consultants in Berlin and have been friends since childhood. The new Mr. and Mrs. Prince of Prussia (not kidding about those names) adopted a coy attitude toward the publicity around their wedding, holding the ceremony and reception in the most regal settings, but giving limited access to the press.

Georg and Sophie after the religious ceremony. Photo: Reuters/Daylife

The bride’s family tiara (I guess they got to keep their jewels too) topped her heirloom veil. The gown is a bit of a puzzle; I didn’t know Gunne Sax and Jessica McClintock were still in business….

The blue and white floral theme of the wedding carried on into the china at the reception, with the guests dining on Bleu Mourant china, a favorite of King Frederick the Great of Prussia, made by Royal Porcelain of Berlin. Scroll down to see part of a place setting.

This Yank’s just catching a little, troubling whiff of Restoration wistfulness in the wedding week.

Note: In March of 2012, Prince Philip Kiril of Prussia called for the restoration of the German monarchy.

Bleu Morant china. Photo: Royal Porcelain Berlin

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prince albert princess charlene monaco red cross ball 2011

Three in this marriage? Prince Albert, Princess Charlene, and a set of false eyelashes.

 

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princess beatrice in turquoise Bea’s knees. Photo: PA/Daily Mail

Princess Beatrice’s sin against fashion was grave indeed when she wore That Hat to Kate and William’s wedding in April.

In the wake of the headgear horror, Bea’s mother revealed that a stylist had been engaged because Fergie was too busy to “go around the shops” with Bea. No comment.

Bea’s bride-to-be friends must have been quaking in their Jimmy Choos. What would the red-haired princess wear to their weddings? Would she monopolize attention again and again, like some Flying Dutchman sailing from wedding to wedding, always in a frightening fascinator?

Apparently Granny weighed in too. The Queen’s former dresser (now valued designer) Angela Kelly created something young and fun to reflect Bea’s personality. The new ensemble appeared at cousin Zara Phillips’ wedding to Mike Tindall.

The Triumph in Turquoise was a double silk fitted jacket with a peplum, covering a fitted dress with a plain bodice and lace sleeves. The flirty dress sported floral appliques and crystals. Bea’s pretty little saucer hat was made of double silk with crepe and lace details. Nude pumps must be LK Bennett. It’s illegal to wear anything else right now.

Ego te absolvo, Beatrice. Go and sin against fashion no more.

 

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Prince William and Kate abandon royal fans in North America

July 11, 2011

What do you mean, they went home? I thought this was the new normal — headline of the day would always be Kate’s latest outfit. Followed by another geography lesson on Canada as they criss-crossed the country, the royal press pack trailing after them, tweeting complaints about bad transport. I still maintain that one of […]

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TRH the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge meet the natives

July 8, 2011
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Royal wedding perfection for Princess Charlene and Prince Albert of Monaco

July 2, 2011

Princess Charlene is no longer in the bridal shadow of Princess Grace. Now a wedding icon in her own right, the embroidered Armani gown showcased her natural elegance. They married “at home” in the Main Courtyard of the Palais Princier. The guests were almost outnumbered by musicians and priests. Every detail of the wedding, from […]

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Monaco royal wedding theme eclairs for Prince Albert and Charlene

July 1, 2011

Paris-based luxury grocer Fauchon has cooked up a special mini-eclair in honor of the Monaco royal wedding. Iced with the design of the coat of arms of the princely Grimaldi family, the eclairs will be served at the reception after the civil wedding on Friday, July 1, for the residents of Monaco. The rest of […]

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Look like a Princess Bride with royal wedding earrings by Kenneth Jay Lane

June 26, 2011

A glittering pair of replica royal wedding earrings can scatter princess stardust over your wedding day ensemble. It’s hard to book Westminster Abbey or St. Paul’s Cathedral for your wedding site, but easy as steak-and-kidney pie to find earrings modeled on the diamonds worn by Princess Diana or her daughter-in-law (a woman of so many […]

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Royal hats at Ascot 2011 — “I have never been so keyed up”

June 16, 2011

Ascot = Hats. Add the Royal Enclosure and you’ve almost got the Ascot Gavotte scene from My Fair Lady. No Cecil Beaton around to design clothes and hats in 2011, so this is what the Windsors came up with. Ev’ry duke and earl and peer is here. Ev’ryone who should be here is here. What […]

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