Why young men might hate Prince Harry

May 21, 2018

Photo credit: Alexi Lubomirski

 

Dear Prince Harry,

We all know you got married to a hot girl. Good for you. So why did you have to ruin it for the rest of the guys?

You kept whispering sweet nothings to her during the ceremony, and staring at her adoringly. Talk about setting a high bar for the other grooms.

But gathering flowers for her bouquet? Thanks a lot.

Now, on the day before the wedding, grooms will have to pick up their rental formal wear and go wander around a garden, cutting flowers for their brides’ bouquets.

And not just any flowers – brides will be demanding meaningful flowers, and the hapless grooms will also have to be sure the flowers go with the wedding color scheme. As if they know what the color scheme is.

To be really special, the flowers should come from the couple’s home garden. You can see where this is going. What if the couple doesn’t have a garden (tended by royal gardeners)? There could be a crisis in city parks, with furtive young men sneaking around with scissors, snipping off all the best blooms.

Plus you got to drive a vintage Jaguar to your wedding reception.

Oh yeah, thanks a whole lot.

Signed,

Unmarried straight men everywhere

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